


Poker Face

by picapica88



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Slow Burn, autistic Hanzo, genji and hanzo being bros, in which the author really relates to blue dragon boy, just let him be happy ok, mentions of ableism / invalidation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-10-22 19:04:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10703202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/picapica88/pseuds/picapica88
Summary: People always read Hanzo wrong, but he's used to it. They always pointed out his differences from Genji, from other children his age, from everyone. But both of the Shimada brothers have changed drastically over the past few years. And there might be someone who sees more in Hanzo than just the differences.





	1. Ante

**Author's Note:**

> First OW fic, and first time writing for fun in...a long time. I'm autistic, and I think there are a lot of interesting aspects of Hanzo's character that could relate to that. So I'm writing this based off what being autistic is like for me, verging on self-indulgence; definitely keep in mind that not all autistic people have the same experiences & this is only a small view into what it's like sometimes. Pleeease comment your thoughts or comments if you have any! I love this smol blue dragon & the silly cowboy who's moonstruck over him.  
> Also, I know nothing about poker, so. Yeah.

Sleepless nights are terrible things, Hanzo has no doubt about this. Sleepless mornings, though, have their perks.

Genji finds him sitting in the windowsill closest to the kitchen, the rising sun covering his face in soft peachy hues. "I do not think those are meant to be sat in, Anija," he warns, drawing a chair next to his brother. His visor's off, so Hanzo could have turned to see the amusement on Genji's face, but he doesn't have to; his voice reveals enough. (It always does with Genji). Besides, he doesn't want to take his eyes away from the sight before him. Gibraltar isn't a place he's familiar with, but it's become apparent after Hanzo's first month that the views can be stunning, if one knows when to look for them. "What time is it?" Hanzo says softly, not moving from his position. His eyes are burning from the lack of sleep, but it's worth it to have watched the sun's colors blending slowly as morning came.

"Six in the morning," Genji responds, after pulling his phone from the front pocket of his sweatshirt. It's loose on him, almost enough to hide the sharp metal angles of his shoulders. Hanzo swears quietly, earning a tiny chuckle from his brother. He finally turns away to look at him. "I could not stay asleep," he starts, unable to not sound defensive. Genji sighs, tinged with a metallic sound but still the same fond exasperation Hanzo's used to. 

"Well, you may have time to get a few more hours, Anija. There is nothing much to do today, other than go shopping later," Genji points out. "I told you there would be time off. You should enjoy it." He had, in fact, informed Hanzo of this fact. Within the first week that they had been reunited. Hanzo takes it as a sign of self-restraint that Genji doesn't outright say "I told you so!". Another good sign for today, maybe. 

Hanzo spends the rest of the day practicing his forms and sneaking away to doze in his room. It's comfortable, and warm, and he shouldn't feel guilty at how much of a relief it is to just _rest_. He almost doesn't believe that he, of all people, is allowed this. 

At night, Hanzo finds himself at supermarket with Jesse. Hana can be overprotective of her meka, but it was clear to everyone how upset she had been after their latest mission. Its metal is expensive and very strong, so luckily she hadn't suffered any injuries besides a few bruises from the hits it had taken. However, the meka had returned to base with dents and large scratches all over it, to Hana's extreme dismay. It would take at least a week to repair fully, even with her extensive knowledge of machinery.

That's why they were currently perusing the store in civilian clothes: to try and cheer her up until the meka was fixed. Jesse had the idea to buy some of her favorite snacks, and as everyone else on base was mysteriously busy when he voiced said idea, Hanzo had been elected to help. It took a while after dinner to walk down to the store, since even Jesse was unfamiliar with the layout of the city. "Okay, we only got lost twice. I'm countin' that as a win," Jesse declares when they enter, earning a very derisive eyeroll from Hanzo. 

"Don't look at me like that. It took a damn long time to get you outta' the base," Jesse points out. "Outta' your _room_." Hanzo gives him a look. "It has been a _busy_ few weeks," he counters. "Or have you forgotten how many missions we have had since then?"

Jesse makes an _oh-really?_   face. "Yeah, well now look at us. Grocery shopping like regular people. You were missin' out on all this for a month," he teases, spreading his arms out to encompass the whole store. 

There are only a handful of other shoppers at this hour, most of which are hollow-eyed insomniacs buying junk food. The aisles are packed with cheap ramen and sugary pastries-definitely the kind of food Hana prefers, as much as it horrifies Angela. The washed-out fluorescence of the store's ceiling lights contrasts with the solid black outside, giving it all a surreal atmosphere.

Hanzo snorts. "I am sure," he mutters, raising an eyebrow at the plastic and neon around him. "This must be the kind of sight-seeing Genji was urging me to try."

Jesse feigns a hurt look. "That sarcasm wounds me, Shimada. Real deep," he insists. "I guess it's better than gettin' the evil eye, though," he says.

Hanzo tilts his head, confused more about what Jesse means than the idiom itself (he is not as bad at English slang as he was before). "You know, you kinda had this poker face on the whole time," Jesse clarifies, chuckling. "Was a little afraid someone was gonna get that bow of yours pointed at 'em." Hanzo frowns at that. "I did not mean to," he says, feeling his face heat with embarrassment. _Did they all think that when I arrived?_

"I was not trying to appear...rude," he adds, hoping his thoughts are as understandable in English as they are in Japanese. Probably not, with his luck. "I was occupied with my own problems."

Jesse's face softens when he sees Hanzo's expression. "Hey, that's not it at all," he says, mentally kicking himself. "Everyone's taken a liking to you. Just didn't get to know ya right away. Don't worry 'bout it," he assures, sincerity in his eyes. _He's got a lot weighing on him,_ Jesse reminds himself. _Just like the rest of us_. As they both move to the checkout line, an idea strikes, and he brightens.

"Don't believe me? Come to our movie night tomorrow," Jesse says. "Pretty sure it would make Hana 'n Lucio over the moon to have another person to watch their old movies with," he laughs, a bit smug: Hanzo can't deny that those two would be terribly excited to add him to their weekly hangout. The resulting huff he lets out confirms Jesse's thoughts, who tries valiantly not to smirk even more.

"I would not want to intrude," Hanzo tries, nervousness coiling in his chest. He can't quite find it in himself to make the words seem harsh, though. For all the oddness of where he is right now, (and who he's with), he feels at peace, and that is making it very hard to maintain the formality he was taught to uphold as a child. Jesse doesn't say anything in response. His eyes betray a glimmer of daring that Hanzo really shouldn't think is endearing. _This man is deadly and knows it, and yet he looks so happy about a movie night,_ he wonders.

"Alright, then," Hanzo cedes, unable to prevent the corners of his mouth turning up in response. _So much for this 'poker face' of mine_. Jesse lets out a whoop of victory, making the people in front of them start. "You won't regret it," he promises, beaming at Hanzo. And just like that, any words of protest die on Hanzo's tongue. The gun at Jesse's side might be dangerous, but that smile feels far more risky, somehow.

Hanzo's phone buzzes, showing a text from Genji: _Everything alright over there?_

 _Yes, fine_ , he types back. And it isn't a lie.

It still makes him uneasy to think of being around the others, as simple as this commitment is. He's never been good at small talk, much less the kind of casual camaraderie the others seem to have such ease with. Maybe it would be worth the uncertainty, though. The world has had a funny way of surprising Hanzo so far. Just the fact that he has the opportunity to know someone as brazen, unpredictable, and... _kind_ as Jesse McCree is evidence enough by itself.


	2. Draw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Movie night! Time for spirited debates about cheesy plotlines, and mostly intentional cuddling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Draw - To play a hand that is not yet good, but could become so if the right cards come.  
> (Also means something entirely different when McCree says it, haha ^_^)

It starts when Lucio props his chin up on Hanzo's shoulder during the beginning credits. "Guys," he breathes, eyes comically wide. "This is gonna be  _so_ cool."

Hanzo gives Lucio an amused look, the same one he directs at Genji whenever his brother does something silly. Soon Hana joins the fray, stretching her legs over both McCree and Hanzo like she owns the place, and nobody says a damn thing because she kind of does. It's warm and cozy, the movie isn't half bad, and McCree has very gallantly taken his serape off so Hana can use it like a blanket. It's the best movie night they've had in months. It's a French film this time, one that Fareeha promised would keep Jesse up all night. She had a satisfied look on her face when she said it, and Jesse knows that means Ree knows what she's talking about. 

Also, he gets jumpscared about five minutes in. 

Of course, Hana isn't scared at all. "Why does no one ever notice the signs?" she laughs from the end of the couch. "That's a dead end. Bunmyeonghan!" she scoffs, in vain, as the protagonists stumble into yet another sinister room. Lucio looks like he still hasn't moved his eyes from the screen. It's probably bad for his vision, but Jesse's too busy trying not to flinch to care. "Yeah, but would you be all calm and collected if  _you_ were being chased by evil demons?" Lucio counters, still fixated on the creepy monsters.

"Depends on if she gets her MEKA," McCree mutters, earning a tiny upwards curl of Hanzo's mouth. 

The look on Hana's face can only be described as  _contemplative_. "Either way, I would never fall for tricks like these ones!" she declares finally. "It's basic military training--don't split up, don't freak out and run away--Hey!" She smacks a giggling Lucio. "Hey, I was just imagining you fighting all these gooey black guys. Pyew pyew pyew, Hana Song to the rescue! C'mon!" Lucio yelps, parrying her blows to the best of his ability. Hanzo looks fondly exasperated, almost lazily blocking a flailing limb from hitting him by accident. 

A mostly convincing CGI monster pops up close to the screen. Jesse takes that as an opportunity to lean in closer to Hanzo, who's had to inch closer to McCree for his own safety (although Lucio and Hana have mostly stopped kicking each other on their side of the couch). Jesse has no idea what's going on in the film, but he really can't find it in himself to care. Especially not when Hanzo simply sighs and rests his head on Jesse's shoulder, instead of moving away. They're both tired, a bit more than even nighttime coffee can fix. As much as they stay up when the job demands, both men still get bleary-eyed as much as any other 30 year-olds who stay up til midnight. 

What surprised him about Hanzo is that he doesn't hate being touched. At first, it seemed like he did. He tensed up at friendly pats on the back, at Jack's "get a move on" shoulder claps. The same with even the standard "we could have died but we didn't!" hugs. He gave any affection a suspicious look, like he didn't trust it.  

Jesse can remember hearing Genji's voice in the hallway, the first week Hanzo arrived: "Have you been having nightmares?" The short pause in between. Then the low, quiet reply: "Yes." Another (longer) pause. Jesse had snuck out, not wanting to disturb the scene. Two hours later, when he crept back to the kitchen to get his serape, there they were: Hanzo looking blissfully at peace under Genji's arm, both of them leaning against the wall. He was fast asleep, unusually vulnerable and soft-looking. Genji had raised a finger when he saw McCree:  _Shhh._  The next morning Hanzo had seemed lighter, like a heavy load was taken off him. There were still some times where he'd stand like a statue in embraces, but far fewer. In fact, it seemed to anchor him--to quiet the thoughts only rarely seen on his face. 

On a recent outing, Angela had to help wash his hair. The fight had been victorious, thanks to Junkrat, but the bomb he'd thrown had also happened to hit a barrel full of chemicals. Angela quickly determined that they weren't toxic, but ushered Hanzo into the medbay shower anyways to be safe. Jesse was standing by in case they needed help, as he'd somehow managed not to get doused, and a sheepish Junkrat was saying "Sorry 'bout that, mate," for the fourth time. Hanzo had only looked a little frazzled, though, and reassured Junkrat that he was unharmed. Angela was combing her gloved fingers all the way down his long hair, precise but gentle. And Hanzo just hummed and leaned into it, more content than Jesse would ever have figured right after a mission like  _that_.

Things have gotten better, though. Now, the man in question is leaned up against McCree, casual as ever. Hana and Lucio have given up their battle to curling up in Jesse's serape. Jesse yawns as quietly as he can, an armful of warm archer under his chin. "Goodnight, honeybee," Jesse whispers softly, and delights in how Hanzo doesn't say anything, but shifts a little more towards him, bringing their bodies closer. Keeping them grounded.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bunmyeonghan = obvious  
> Here's a lovely comic by one of my favorite fanartists, dilfosaur on Tumblr: http://dilfosaur.tumblr.com/post/150107830323  
> It's one of the things that got me thinking about autistic Hanzo in general! And thanks to the commenter on the last chapter for the lovely headcanons!!


	3. Fold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Hanzo speaks for himself in his own way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fold - To forfeit any chance of winning the current pot in poker. To lay down your hand or throw your hand in instead of calling or raising a bet.

"C'mon, Han." The voice is much more plaintive than it needs to be from the other side of the door. "Y'can't just stay in there _all day_." With a sigh, Hanzo rises from where he was sitting against the wall of his quarters. He's not truly frustrated with Jesse, though--it's more embarrassing for his reluctance to be recognized so easily.  
Jesse's face brightens when Hanzo opens the door, leaving it open and returning to his spot on the floor (it's warm there, lit by sunbeams from the window). "There he is. Something wrong, darlin'?" he asks. Hanzo shakes his head no, then pauses. He shrugs. _I don't know._  
"Well, that's fine. I just wanted someone to keep ya company, you know," Jesse reassures, sliding down until he's sitting by Hanzo, but not too close. It's kind of him, and Hanzo always notices these small things. It makes him grit his teeth that today he can't properly thank Jesse, just _can't_. Can't even explain why, either. Not in English or his native language.  
To his surprise, though, Jesse gives him a small smile. Hanzo didn't realize he was bracing himself for a mocking comment until he lets out a breath at the sight. He knows deep down Jesse wouldn't do that, but it's the kind of thing he would have heard back home: _"What, are you mute? Speak, Hanzo!"_.  
Jesse shifts closer until their shoulders are touching. "Hey. It's okay if you don't wanna talk. I think I do enough for the both of us, right?" Hanzo can't help but huff a laugh at that. "Angie said you go nonverbal sometimes. That one of those times right now?" Hanzo tries to make himself meet Jesse's eyes, fails briefly, then finally makes it, nodding. He fights the shame rising in his throat. "S'fine, sugar. I've seen plenty of people do that before, an' it doesn't mean you're any less a force to be reckoned with when you wanna be."  
The words warm Hanzo even more than the sunlight. People always thought it was funny how different he was from his brother, especially when it came to how they dealt with quiet. Genji abhorred it, went out of his way to find loud clubs with deafening music that shook your very bones. Hanzo, though, found it easier to be silent. It was a benefit around his father, who wanted unspoken agreement, and in business negotiations with the clan, where restraint was essential to the image of professionalism and confidence they spun.  
"You don't gotta say anything, then," Jesse says, putting his arm around Hanzo to squeeze him gently. He leaves his arm there. Hanzo hopes to everything good that Jesse can see the gratitude on his face, and leans into him. He's tired from the anxious thoughts that were in his head, but they're gone now. There's just Jesse's hand running down his arm soothingly, and something in Hanzo finally gives in. He closes his eyes and lets himself feel the overwhelming love he has for the man holding him. And doesn't say a single word.


	4. Jackpot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this, and thanks to those who have left kudos / lovely comments! It really brightens my day. And it makes me think what I'm writing is actually useful for someone.  
> Sorry this is so late. I'll try to add a few more chapters, and then maybe I'll write some more in this universe. Love me some soft mchanzos

"Hanzo's giving your aim a run for its money," Jack teases once, after a battle in which Hanzo managed to take down half a dozen men with brutal shots to the legs without killing a soul. Jesse scowls, but not too much; it really was something to behold. Guy's got a thing for picking out the small stuff, and he can use it for a lot more than just sticking people full of arrows. Sometimes a discerning eye is just as good as muscles and firepower. 

\---

Mei's birthday is in the middle of a sweltering summer in Gibraltar, so the celebrations are somewhat sluggish. Still, they all manage to get their favorite climatologist a cake and some gifts, even if they're stuck inside the base to get out of the sun. Mei's finally foregone the coat today--she swears up and down that she can handle it, but Angela's pointed hints about heatstroke did the trick at last. Donned in a new top Hana gave her, she gives her friends a smile that could surely melt the hardest permafrost in the world. 

Hanzo waits patiently until it's his turn to give his offering to the birthday girl. He'd been real mysterious about what he'd bought, and had kept his gift hidden until the last moment. Curious eyes all around the room turn on him when he steps up. Jesse can't imagine he's the extravagant type. Maybe it's something big, that couldn't be wrapped. Or maybe he just has a card and a certificate to some store; Mei would gush over it just the same. 

There's just a bit of a smile on his face as he reaches  _underneath_ the gift table, opening the cupboard directly below. Carefully, he pulls out his gift with both hands, and extends it to Mei. 

Her eyes light up. "Oh!" she exclaims, taking the pot from Hanzo. It's an ordinary grey one, but the flowers inside are fiercely colored, orange and red and luscious pinks. They appear to be miniature orchids, beautifully simple but still enough to make the rest of the crowd  _ooh_ and  _ah_. Zenyatta floats a little closer, head tilted. "Winter orchids," he declares. "They can withstand almost any kind of environment. Where did you find them, my friend?" 

"They were at the store downtown," Hanzo explains. "And quite cheap. Many shoppers prefer flowers that have not been genetically modified, so they were in the back; I almost did not see them," he confesses with a chuckle. Mei looks absolutely touched. "They're perfect! I can keep them in the lab, and propagate the seeds for new ones later--thank you!" She puts the pot down on the table very delicately, and then envelops Hanzo in a big hug that's not delicate at all. He smiles sheepishly, a tinge of red on his face. "You are welcome," he says warmly. 

Jesse gives him an approving look over Mei's shoulder. Now he knows who to go to for gift advice next time. 

\---

Sometimes Jesse wakes up and bounds out of bed, full of restless energy and early-morning chatter. Sometimes he wakes up and his head feels full of fog; heavy and so clouded up he can't even think. Jack doesn't give him shit for sleeping in, being used to those days from years before, and having experience with that kind of thing himself as well. That's a blessing, and Jesse appreciates it more than he can say. He stays in his room on bad days, telling himself he's allowed to have a few hours to get all the noise out of his head before he starts the day. 

Usually he'll stumble out of his room in dogged determination to eat  _something_ before noon, forcing himself to look relaxed even if he's far from it. This time, Jesse puts on a passably normal face and opens the door to his quarters, dreading the possibility of loud activity in the kitchen. But it's actually quiet, with only Hanzo and Genji sitting at the table, sipping tea and arguing good-naturedly over the newspaper. 

There's another cup at the empty chair in front of Jesse; Hanzo doesn't even look at him, but takes the teapot and pours some tea in, then slides it forwards a bit. A clear invitation, but not pushy; Jesse doesn't have the energy to deal with fussing right now. He takes a seat and wraps his hands around the mug, warmth seeping into him and making some of the tension slip away from his shoulders. "Thanks," he says, and means it. Hanzo just nods, casual as anything. "Of course."

\---

" _Baby,_ " Jesse croons, pressing kisses to Hanzo's face everywhere he can. He pays special attention to his eyes, gently on his lids and underneath, where the dark circles are  _almost_ gone by now. Hanzo laughs, fingers combing through Jesse's hair. "Ridiculous man," he whispers fondly. Jesse just makes his kisses more exaggerated, and knows Hanzo can tell what he means by them. His darling always sees the important stuff. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so gay


End file.
